A Mom's Guide to Feeling Like Myself Again

Motherhood has changed my life in so many ways, and somewhere along the way I realized how easy it is for the things I enjoy—or even the things that simply make me feel good—to move to the very bottom of the list.

So much of the day is spent thinking about everyone and everything else. What needs to get done? What are we having for dinner? Where do we have to go? And finding a minute to yourself can be nearly impossible. As I’m writing this post, my one and half year old daughter is crawling all over me—which honestly feels pretty fitting for the topic!

And don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love spending time with my family. But being Mom takes so much out of us on a daily basis and sometimes we need a little space to do the things that make us feel like ourselves again.

I certainly haven’t figured out the secret to balancing it all. What I have figured out is that I need to make a little space for myself, too. I’m not talking about a perfect morning routine or hours of self-care. Just small things that help me feel a little more like myself outside of being Mom. I had to actually sit down and THINK about what would make me feel like "me" again, So, I made this blog post because I figured there were other Mom's out there who could use some ideas, too. 

1. Have a few "Feel-Good" Outfits Ready

After my daughter was born, I felt like my closet was full of clothes that once belonged to someone else. I couldn't wear the outfits that I once made me feel sexy and confident. 

 

When I finally get a night out, the last thing I want to do is spend half of my limited free time trying on everything in my closet, getting frustrated, and deciding I suddenly hate all of my clothes. 

So, I came up with a solution -- I keep two or three outfits in my closet that I call my “go-to feel-good outfits.” These are the outfits I already know I look and feel good in, so when I actually get a night out, I know exactly what I’m wearing.

For me, it’s less about having a ton of clothes and more about having a few things I can put on and immediately feel good in.

You'll find you'll have less time stressing over what to wear, more time actually enjoying yourself.

2. Reconnect with a Hobby (No Matter How Small)

Before becoming a mom, I had more time for hobbies and things I simply enjoyed. Once I became a mom, that free time became harder to find, and naturally, some of those things fell to the side.

 

I’ve realized how important it is for me to still have things that are just for me. I always enjoy yoga, food and wine events, and now working on my blog. Each gives me a chance to focus on something I enjoy outside of my everyday mom routine.

Sometimes you have to actually make the time for it. Just in case you need to hear it, it's okay to ask your husband or significant other to take over for an hour, find a reliable babysitter you trust, or let the grandparents enjoy some one-on-one time with your little one so you can have some "you" time.

And it doesn’t have to be a hobby you’ve always had. Sometimes feeling more like yourself means going back to something you used to love — and it could mean discovering something completely new.

3. Put Fun (Kid-Free) Events on the Calendar 

As a stay-at-home mom, I’m home with my daughter pretty much 24/7, and some weeks the days can start to blend into one another. I love being home with her, but I also need fun events on the calendar to look forward and give me that mental reset. 

For me, that could be a date night with my husband, brunch with friends, a girls’ night, or even just running to a store by myself and taking my sweet time. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Just having an activity coming up that gets me out of the everyday routine makes a difference.

4. Take Care of Yourself in Small Ways

We spend so much of our time taking care of our babies, our husbands, and everything that comes with keeping a family going. But we have to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves, too — both our minds and our bodies.

For me, every once in a while that means giving myself a spa day. A facial or massage makes me feel amazing, and I come home relaxed, re-energized, and ready to get back into mom mode. Running a bath at home with a glass of wine, relaxing music, and Epsom salts can be enough to help me reset.

One of the hardest things for me has been setting aside time to work out. I love yoga, so when I can't find time to get away, I just have my little one do it with me. Is it the most peaceful yoga session? Absolutely not... But it gets done and I feel good after.

Take a second and think about what makes you feel good and gives your mind a reset. Then make sure you’re actually setting aside the time to do it. Taking care of yourself may look different after becoming a mom, but that doesn’t make it any less important.

7. Remember Who You Are 

From pregnancy through the toddler years, I felt like I lost a little bit of who I used to be. Between the nausea of pregnancy, the sleepless nights of babyhood, and everything that comes with caring for a little one, the person I used to be seemed to fade away. 

If you’re like me and you’ve felt like the person you used to be seems miles away, you’re not alone. This is all part of the process of motherhood. We have to give so much of ourselves to our children in these early years, but it takes intention, time, and work to bring yourself back.

Don’t be afraid to put in that work. It’s so important to find yourself again. Not only will it help you be a better mom, wife or girlfriend, but it will also help you enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to build.

You're still in there, mama!

Motherhood is a lifestyle that can change the world as you knew it. I have been fortunate to experience the life of a full-time working Mom and a stay-at-home Mom. The one thing I can tell you is that both lifestyles are so rewarding but each have their own challenges. It doesn't matter if you're in the office or at home, during the hustle and bustle of raising children it can be easy to lose that life that you had pre-motherhood. If you feel like you're buried in diapers and storytime, the best thing you can do for your family is to give yourself time to discover what makes you feel like the person you want to be.

Some images on Mom Life & Beyond may be digitally enhanced or created with the assistance of AI.